I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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