There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
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WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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