first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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