Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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