You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
then he tried to convert me to islam
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
