in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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