he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
