I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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