help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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