Its about making memories worth repressing
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
