So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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