I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
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