Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
