So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
