laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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