"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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