I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
my being single is dangerous.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
