hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
