In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
