Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
