first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
