New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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