I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm just crazy horny about you
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
