before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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