The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
