He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
