I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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