just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
