Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
