How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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