please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize