she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
