Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
