you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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