omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Randomize
