i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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