And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
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dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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