The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
