Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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