Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
