i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
