I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
