I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
a search helicopter?!
How's work?
Spinning.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize