so that wasnt chicken after all
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Randomize
