When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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