waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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