It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
