I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
