so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
