is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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