I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
