i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize