So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
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Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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