Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize
