does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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