just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
