the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
