yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
