I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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